As most people probably already know The 2014 FIFA World
Cup has been going on, this of course decides which countries exterminate their
soccer(ahem FOOTBALL) players and which country turns their soccer (ahem
FOOTBALL) players into gods.
Soccer (ahem FOOTBALL) is a fun game, I played it many
years, enjoyed it, and yet I have no idea why (other than in America) people
believe it to be worth killing over. I
just don’t get it. People take so much pride in their country’s team; well it’s
more than pride, it’s a crazy obsession filled with blood lust, beer and half
dressed women in the stands . . . oh.
But I’m not here to talk about the body count at any
given soccer (ahem FOOTBALL) game, no I want to talk about Google. Have you been going to Google’s home page
during the battle for the world’s best soccer (ahem FOOTBALL) team? Google, as they always seem to do, is paying
tribute through Google Doodles to the 20014 World Cup. Throughout the day they change their logo to
correspond with what is going on with the games. Who is going to play who, who is playing who,
who beat who, and which county executed their losing players. Stuff like
that.
It’s really a very simple way to keep track of the games,
just go to Google and instantly without knowing any details you can see what’s
going on, couldn’t be any more easy….
really…. just look….
See, the Google letters are dressed in the colors of the
corresponding country’s flag … got it?
Ummmm…..
Colors … flags …
Yea.
I feel pretty stupid too; (and not because the letters
aren’t always wearing any flag colors - damn Google) but because you think you
know the flags of the world (or at least I did). You see them all the time in the news, well, maybe
not all of them, but most of the big players on the RISK board. However, out of context, without any Jeopardy
like clue to go with them, it’s amazing how hard it is to pick out a country’s
flag, especially when the letters that spell Google are wearing them as
shirts. This isn’t simple at all, and
apparently I’m an idiot when it comes to world flags.
It seems I’m not here to talk about Google at all, or
about soccer (ahem FOOTBALL). No I’m here to talk about flags, those colorful banners
that in some way encapsulate the ideology of a nation or entity of some sort. They are representational of something much
bigger than themselves, a logo, a symbol, an image woven from the heart of the
people that is so strong they will defend it to the grave.
Don’t believe me, hang an American flag the wrong way in
front of a WWII vet and see what happens.
Don’t misunderstand, I’m not mocking him, I get it. I’m just trying to
demonstrate how powerful a flag can be as a symbol of something bigger – pretty
damn powerful. And yet there are so many
flags out there, anyone can get one, even pirates have one, that’s how
universal they are. Obviously some carry
a lot more clout than others; no one is yielding to the Taco Bell Flag (yes there
actually is one) let alone laying down their life for a chalupa. Give me
chalupa or give me death! Doesn’t
inspire so much does it? Frances Scott Key
never wrote The Bell-Spangled Banner, so it’s safe to say, you need more than
just a flag and a burrito for people to defend you to the death.
But we’re not here to discuss American Revolutionary era gastronomy,
are we? No. We are talking about dying for something worth dying for, a cause,
a way of life for our families, a system that will endure to further us as a
society. And I’m not so sure a kid’s
game qualifies, but I’ve been wrong before.
Maybe the World Cup is just another battle field where they use a ball
instead of a gun to prove which country is superior, better to be punished with
a red card than need the Red Cross, I suppose. A way to determine which country is superior, one
that America has no chance of winning. And maybe THAT’s the point!
Then again - bullshit, it’s just a game. Like every other game, like Football (ahem…
you know American FOOTBALL,, quarterbacks, punts, touchdowns… yea that one),
basketball or Parcheesi . Yes Parcheesi,
without the stadiums and television rights, but still a game, a past time,
entertainment sans cheerleaders. And who wants to riot over Parcheesi?
But this isn’t about Parcheesi, no, it’s about Football (ahem
SOCCER) and how Patrick Henry’s wife didn’t put extenders and fillers in his
food so that he would never end up with severe stomach distress that would cause
him to search on Google, only to see Brazilian women wearing nothing but a
thong and some face paint of some flag that, as it turns out I may or may not recognize
because clearly I didn’t pay enough attention in Flag class.
