I was talking to my sister the other day and found out an interesting little habit my nephew has. Turns out when he goes to the bathroom, he gets undressed. I don’t mean in the normal pants dropping way, no we’re talking about queuing the corny stripper music, get out the giant feathers, complete nudity. Some might say naked as a jaybird, others, o’ natural. Whatever term you prefer he’s buck naked.
That’s right, every time nature calls, even collect, he goes into the bathroom and takes off every last bit of clothes he may be wearing and hops up on the throne.
Seems like a weird thing for a kid to do all on his own. I mean sure becoming one with nature is supposed to be a very liberating form of consciousness, a spirituality that can only be achieved through a life stripped of man made bonds and artificial restraints. But we’re talking about a naked kid sitting on some cold porcelain, this isn’t an ashram and trust me when I tell you, this kid has never tried to imagine the sound of one hand clapping while ooooooommmmming.
Nope, there was something more to this story and I think I knew what it was. And so I asked the question, the right question.
"Did something happen once that made him do this, like a bad experience?"
Sure enough it did, and it turns out it wasn’t a one time offence. The kid has been living a life of torment of unspeakable proportions, okay maybe I’m going a tad to far, but it’s all relative and he hasn’t had that long of a life yet. So in short, he’s just a messy wiper.
Yea I know gross.
But hang in there, a point is on its way.
You see, with messy wiping comes soiled clothes, (do not make a visual, let’s just keep going) and with soiled clothes comes embarrassment, not to mention unpleasant odors. (Still urging you to not visualize, or odorize) We can also assume if he wasn’t at home, the embarrassment factor gets amplified by at least 100 times. The poor kid had problems and those problems needed solutions.
You have to admire independent thinking; I know I do. In this day and age, not many can do this, and whether it was out of disgrace or stubbornness, this kid found answers. He didn’t go to his mom, dad, preacher man, or president; he just found a way to remove the problem, as well as his clothes. This is a child who is showing the very attributes that helped forge this great nation, an attribute we assign to the greatest people the world has ever known.
And yet
Yet.
Yet.
Something went wrong.
It wasn’t exactly the execution, more in the planning stage. Much like many before him, he fell victim to curing the symptom and not the problem.
Do you see a point coming?
I told you it would get here.
I could go on about big business and pharmaceuticals always finding ways to cure symptoms and not problems, but I just don’t have the time right now to point out what should be insanely obvious, they’re crooks.
But my nephew isn’t a crook, not yet anyway, unless you count stealing brownies before dinner a criminal act. So his motives aren’t dictated by greed, his judgment isn’t clouded by stock options; no he just doesn’t see that a little time invested now, will save him time in the future.
Unfortunately adults are just as guilty, the future has become an abstract thought in which we just don’t care about. If something hurts take an aspirin, why take the time to find out why you hurt to begin with? In essence, we are a society that makes beds in burning buildings, which sucks.
So, in the hopes of living in a suck free world I propose a movement in which we will not suck, a no suck movement, if you will. One where we will try to fix the problems of the world and not just the symptoms.
Please join me in my crusade to wipe out suckiness, as well as backsides.
